Recently, I took my sons to Messy Church at the Grace United Church. It's a place where my sons and I can do crafts and play games, have a great meal and not have to worry about clean up. The boys really enjoyed it.
I tried my hand at decorating an Easter egg. I had to cut out shapes and glue them to an egg. Alright, I passed Kindergarten, I can do this.
Ummm... no I can't.
I hate your scissors.
Instead of a nice straight, clean line, my paper looked like it had a bad run in with Edward Scissorhands. Your right-handed scissors don't cut paper.
In fact, your right-handed everything is annoying. It requires more thinking for me to do a simple task than it would a right-handed person.
As simple a task as taking a cork out of a wine bottle forces me to think about the direction I have to turn the corkscrew and how much force I need to use.
It's a bit mathematical, and a tad scientific. Two of my worst subjects in school, yet I'm contemplating the laws of physics to have a glass of wine.
It's really not me that likes to complicate things. It's the situation. My natural instinct is to go left when I need to go right. I have to stop and think, really think about what I'm about to do. If I don't, I most likely will end up getting hurt.
Sadly, one of the areas where the lefty brain falls down is in spatial awareness. The view that I and my left handed counterparts are clumsy and awkward is not down to our natural abilities, but by being forced to use right-handed tools and machinery which are completely back-to-front for us.
Last summer I was doing some landscaping in my backyard. I had a pile of long 2X4s to take to the dump, but I wanted to cut them before hauling.
I brought out my circular saw and looked at it. I sat down with the saw in my hand, looked at the wood I needed to cut, and looked at the saw again.
I had to strategize, in my mind, the plan of attack. I was alone and if I severed a limb, I had no one to drive me to emergency.
NOT KIDDING. These are the things I think about before taking part in any activity that involves sharp objects made for right handed people, except your scissors - they can't cut anything.
I hate your scissors.
